


Pumpkin Spice

by ShootingStarNeo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, PWP, Threesome, Tricksters, i have no idea what i am doing, no seriously this is Tricksters and smut there is no excuse for it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-17
Updated: 2013-01-17
Packaged: 2017-11-25 20:02:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/642460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShootingStarNeo/pseuds/ShootingStarNeo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the confidence and honesty of Trickster mode prompts Jake, with Jane in tow, to say and do a few head-turning things to Dirk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pumpkin Spice

**Author's Note:**

> Sees post remarking recent updates are a jab at silly smut pics and fics.  
> Was already working on this.  
> OH WELL ahaha I actually regret everything. OTL

This was not how Dirk had pictured his confrontation with Jake going.

For one, he’d pictured himself probably having to hunt the guy down first and demand to speak to him, to let him really know what he felt when Jake left, just an honest airing of emotion. Then he would hold Jake down until he gave him a satisfying response, which would be a feat in itself. After that, they would sit and continue to talk about their feelings until they found some kind of common ground to stand on together.

And of course, that plan had long since been shelved for its too many variables and unpredictable outcomes. That same shelf was where all his other ideas regarding Jake had been condemned to.

So Dirk was left with his strange new Sprite on his rooftop with no one answering his texts and no one he really felt like making himself talk to – except for the one person who wouldn’t hear him out. The same person who had been trying to reach for days with no response. The person he most wanted to see, even when he knew trying to see him would just drive him further away.

And that had been about the time that Jake, now sporting bright green hair and a eye-burningly brightly colored outfit, had come right the fuck out of nowhere with nothing but a cry of “STRIDER!” to announce his presence, and crashed into him. So, speaking of unpredictable outcomes…

It had been a while since Dirk had seen any of his friends, yet alone had someone tackle-hug him or, horrorterrors forbid, kiss him. So, the sudden appearance of this strange new Jake was like a jolt from a defibrillator, complete with the sheer physical force of the shock. The sudden color and force was head-turning.

Dirk had barely had time to properly register Jake’s presence before his wayward boyfriend crashed their mouths together, Jake kissing him openly and fervently. The collision sent Dirk stumbling backwards, only to be caught by someone who started giggling in his ear. He tried to jerk his head around, to see who it was, to try and figure out what in the _flying fuck_ had just happened when Jake grabbed his face almost tenderly, sucking Dirk’s lower lip in between his teeth and demanding his attention. Whoever had caught him pulled Dirk’s arms behind his back, grip around his wrists like a vice, leaving him standing in an absurd backwards arch, upsetting his equilibrium. The person at his back was the only thing keeping him from crashing to the ground since, from a physics standpoint, Jake’s arms around his waist would not be enough to hold him up. Most importantly, being immobilized like this effectively cut off his means of fighting back.

Well, sloppy make-outs with his candy-colored boyfriend made him admittedly reluctant to fight back. This was his first human contact since Jake had left. His body wanted to keep the kiss going and demanded his mind comply. Dirk’s mind was not at all happy with this.

Dirk wrenched away from Jake’s lavish affections, this time successfully breaking the kiss, and barked, “What the hell is this?”

Jake – who may or may not have been Jake at all. It certainly _looked_ like him but Jake did certainly not have bright green hair or _suspenders_ , though those were admittedly a nice touch, firmly outlining the contours that the cling of his shirt suggested – smiled,  a wide, bright smile that put Dirk subtlety on edge. Jake’s smiles were wide and bright, always, but something about this ear-splitting grin was _off_ , so coated in candy that it acquired a fake, plastic sheen.

“Diiii~iiirk, it’s me, Jake!” Jake singsonged. He leaned in again, lips puckered for another kiss, which Dirk reluctantly leaned away from. He caught a flash of pink in his peripheral vision when he did so. The person behind him, both restraining and supporting him in his graceless arch backwards, _might_ have been a pink-haired Jane in another pastel costume, this one bright and sunny yellow with blue trim. It was hard to tell. Jake kept kissing him, punctuating each with exclamations of “I was looking for you!” and “It’s great to see you! Everything’s just _great_ right now!”

Dirk didn’t get another chance for second look, anyway – Jake took advantage of his momentary distraction and took him by his mouth again, this time slipping his tongue in-between Dirk’s lips. Dirk bit at him, catching Jake’s invading tongue with his teeth. His heart and his dick both gave a funny little jump when Jake actually _moaned_ into his mouth.

Jake withdrew a second time, nearly manic green eyes alight with something like excitement, the same adventurous look he got at the entrance to a particularly promising tomb. “Do that again,” he said with another big, off-putting grin.

Again, Jake assaulted Dirk with his lips and his tongue. Dirk, caught between arousal and something not unlike fear, acquiesced, catching Jake between his teeth and slowly pressing down. He didn’t let up until Jake’s nearly pornographic groans turned to a yelp of pain.

Jake looked at him, affronted. He stuck his tongue out, gingerly feeling it. “Dirrr, tha hurr!” He whined, past his inspecting fingers.

“Jake, what the hell happened to you?” Dirk demanded, ignoring Jake’s hurt look.

“Well,” Jake said, once again in singsong. _Everything_ in singsong, it was starting to give Dirk a headache. His pink tongue flicked back into his mouth. “So I asked Jane for some help with my romantic life but for some reason I still can’t even _begin_ to fathom she got mad and then she was really, really sad, so I sent her a present that uranianUmbrage sent me and I guess that made it all better!” Shit, not Umbrage again. Dirk had been content to appease the douche-canoe in the past, but messing with his friends and turning them into… whatever the hell this was, was going too far. Now he vowed that the little shithead was going to get a very verbose earful the next Dirk heard from him.  

“Then she flew down to my planet and started squealing about how absolutely positively giddy she was and how she loved me and wanted to have my babies!” Jake continued, with no change in tone or enthusiasm from before. “And then she kicked me off a cliff!” Jake paused with another dissonant smile. How he could have said that all in the same breath was beyond Dirk. “And then I just had this— epiphany! I had to see you and tell you something!”

“What’s that?” Dirk asked cautiously, the gears slowly turning in his mind. The pieces were slower to fall together, however his well-abused lips tingling and distracting him.

“I needed to see you!” Jake exclaimed, like it was obvious. “And tell you that you were pushy and wordy and very, very clingy!”

Dirk had been about to say something, a quip about “well, I was waiting for you to come around” but the words very quickly died in his throat. The utterly gleeful tone Jake adopted when he said that was like a sucker punch to the gut. The aggressive kiss Jake pulled him into immediately was the surprising hook that sent him sprawling, Jake’s tongue shoved down his throat and exploring eagerly, tasting of something sweet, earthy and tinged with spice.

Under normal circumstances, Jake’s bombastic advances would’ve been met with a similarly enthusiastic response from Dirk, but no response was forthcoming. He had no idea what to do in this situation. _Ground control to Major Tom, your circuits dead, there’s something wrong._ The high giggle from behind him let him know that it was definitely Jane had come with Jake, but exactly what the purpose of this? It felt, in some neglected instinct that had thus far governed Dirk’s tentative relationship with Jake, like the lead-in to a break up, but the kiss left Dirk tangled and hopelessly misdirected. His expectations had been lead on and then so sharply subverted they’d made a neck-breaking right angle upon redirection.

Jake’s kiss was passionate and nearly longing, unlike the others which had been almost like awkward groping. It was like this time he was looking for something. Wanting Dirk to push back. Dirk dearly wanted to reciprocate, really he did, but something was holding him back. The same thing that reeled in horror at Jake’s wide Stepford smile.  

Jake released him again to catch his breath- or so Dirk thought. “So I thought we should break up!” Jake blurted, with no preamble.

It took Dirk a moment to reconstitute himself and formulate a response, connecting the statement to Jake’s previous one, which already felt like a long time ago. A moment which was apparently much too long for Jake’s liking. Back down he went, further kissing the breath out of Dirk, leaving him flailing and thoroughly lost.

“Okay, so that’s over with,” Jane said, and if it weren’t for the pressure of her hands on his wrists Dirk might have forgotten she was there. “So now what?”

Jake came away from Dirk’s mouth with a wet smack. He shrugged. “Last I remembered, we had a wedding to plan.

“Jake?” Dirk’s eyes were wide behind his shades, having been cold-clocked by the boy when he’d never even thrown a punch.

Jake’s gaze flicked back over to him, bright and without a care in the world, oblivious to the unfamiliar, unwanted emotional tumult he had just caused. “Hmmm?”

For once, Dirk could for the life of him not think of what he wanted to say. It was not _words_ he needed to voice, not even an articulate idea. Just a nebulous feeling, a need, a question; “Why?”

Jake tilted his head, eyes wide and innocent. “Why what?”

Dirk might have cast his hands around to indicate himself, Jake, Jane, the whole situation that was rapidly gaining points in absurdity, but they were disabled at the moment. “This,” was what he said instead, a meek attempt at articulating the confused mess inside his head.

Jake just smiled and said, “Because,” like it was a simple, obvious thing, and Dirk was stupid for not getting it. “I want you to be happy!”

This did not answer any of the unwordable questions Dirk had. “What?”

“I’m trying to be a more thoughtful person, so I want to share this with you! You’ll see Dirk, it feels just wonderful, and I want you to feel wonderful too!”

“Oh,” was all that Dirk could really manage. Jake had effectively short-circuited his powers of higher thinking and he could no longer fight nor protest. His lips _tingled_ like a limb that had fallen asleep, and the thought of it made his pulse pound. That, Dirk thought, couldn’t be normal, and neither could the slow, syrupy feeling on the back of his tongue.

The syrupy feeling crept down his throat and into his spine, a taste that quickly turned sickening and made him shiver. He should get the fuck out of here. He should break free, run for it, and find Roxy. How Jake and Jane were acting was _not normal_ and Dirk was ought to act on it… but he didn’t. He felt dizzy, caught between the urge to run and just submit to whatever affections Jake was willing to give him.

Jake ran his hands up Dirk’s chest, coming to rest with feather-light gentleness on his shoulders. Dirk decided then, against his better judgment, that he needed this syrupy love right now. Then, Jake shoved him onto his knees.

Jane held his arms behind his back, leaving his vision all red shorts and garish striped socks. Dirk noticed that the socks were colored the same as their respective pester-texts, and that struck him with a certain amount of irony.

Then the sound of Jake’s zipper coming undone echoed throughout the rooftop, drowning out all else.

Dirk sucked in a hissing breath that sounded vaguely like “shit” as Jake held his cock up to his lips. Well, he was nothing if not a faithful boyfriend.

He took Jake slowly, inch by tongue-flicking inch. Jake hummed appreciatively, staring down at him with what Dirk could place neither as a lustful smile or an arrogant smirk. He carded his fingers through Dirk’s hair, slicking several stray strands away from the side of his face. If he closed

Jake tightened his grip in Dirk’s hair and shoved him further down, the head of his cock brushing his palate and coming dangerously close to tripping his gag-reflex. Dirk pulled back against Jake’s vice grip, trying to find some appropriate middle ground. If his arms had been free (and they were slowly starting to burn from being locked in the same position by Jane), he’d have jerked Jake off into his mouth or played with his balls. But he was at Jake’s mercy right now, and despite the ache in his jaw and his arms, there was only a part of him that protested.

_Fuck off, your pride was what got us into this lover’s spat in the first place,_ Dirk told the dissenter, urged on by lust and a craving for some kind of affection, spurred in turn by a new feeling that this was alright, at least for right now.

Jake slowly rolled his hips, making long, languid thrusts down Dirk’s throat. A rough chuckle cut through the silence and Dirk looked up past his lashes at Jake.

“You just look so funny,” Jake said, the giggles now rolling from his throat. “Isn’t this a funny look for him, Jane?”

“Hi-lar-ious,” Jane replied, singing each syllable. One of her hands released Dirk’s wrists and snuck around his hip, palming him through his jeans. Dirk bucked into her touch, desperate for release. “Aww, he’s pretty eager.”

Jake made a deeper thrust, filling Dirk’s throat with the length of his cock. “We’ll have to repay the favor! Only fair, right?”

Dirk tried to voice his assent, but his voice came out as a low warble around the dick shoved halfway down his throat. A shudder ran up Jake’s body. “Oh, that’s good… Dirk, I love you so much. I love you all sooo~ooo much.”

He shoved Dirk further onto him, deeper, and deeper, until Dirk was nuzzling in the wiry hairs trailing up Jake’s belly. He needed to _breathe,_ and _now._ He made another faint whining noise, to try and let Jake know he needed to come up, but it just made the boy laugh and massage the back of his head in a way that was almost loving.

Finally, Jake yanked him off and Dirk greedily sucked down a lungful of air. The sound of his gasps drew Jake’s attention to him.

“Oh, are you okay?” Jake asked, in a shocked and saccharine tone. “I’m sorry! Do you want to keep going?”

Dirk nodded numbly, chest still heaving. “Yeah…” he looked up pleadingly at Jake. “…yeah… please?”

“Okay,” Jake knelt by him and softly stroked his fingers through Dirk’s hair. “I wouldn’t want to do anything you didn’t want to. ‘Cause that’s how much I love you, you know.”

Dirk had barely got his breath back when Jake lunged for him and kissed him on the mouth. Jane looped her arms around his chest, hugging herself against his back. “That’s how much we _both_ love you,” she giggled, reaching around to kiss him on the cheek.

Finally, Dirk had to make himself break away from the kiss to breath again. The two tricksters laughed, catching each other with a chaste peck on the lips. But Dirk didn’t feel any lingering jealousy, not when he _knew_ they loved him just as much as they loved each other.

“You want to get married with us, Dirk?” Jane asked, her embrace soft and warm. “Jake has to be the groom, so you can be the co-groom. Oh, and Roxy’s going to be the co-bride!”

“Yes, yes! Come on Dirk, let’s all get married!” Jake said with a smile and another kiss.

Maybe it was the lack of oxygen, or maybe it was just his two friends, but Dirk found himself agreeing. Something about them was burrowing its way into his reasoning, to where something that would normally sound absurd was beginning to seem a reasonable notion. And not just _reasonable_ , either, but the obvious solution. Of course! They would all get married. It was so simple, and the pure glee and the spark of love and life in the tricksters’ eyes had told him so. It was like a slow, sugary poison leeching its way through his body. But instead of the venom stopping his heart and turning his blood to a candied sludge, it made his pulse pound with the sweetest adrenaline rush. Dirk felt a bit like laughing, just from the feeling. “You two?”

“Hm?” They said in unison.

“I just,” Dirk ventured, the words feeling awkward in his mouth but worse when left unsaid, “I just love you guys.”

“And we love you too, soooo much!” Jake said, but Dirk didn’t have a chance to start a terrifically corny “but I love you more” argument because Jake shoved him into his crotch again.

Dirk latched onto Jake’s stiff cock, licking off the leaking pre-come. It tasted like the rest of Jake, a muskier, heavier version of his pumpkin spice-taste. Jake moaned with sudden surprise, a sound Dirk kept trying to coax out of him.

Dirk went on to sucking him off on his own time, taking the time to trace the fleshy contours of the head, knowing what would set him off. Jake’s whimpers were quickly muffled by the sound of lips meeting above him, and Jane reached a hand down his pants, feeling his half-hard dick with hands that were inexperienced but by no means unpleasant. Dirk moaned, contented.

Jake came with a sharp cry, painting Dirk’s tongue with that full, thick pumpkin spice taste. Dirk faithfully drank it down, swallowing the thick load and licking the trickle that escaped off his lips.

He shot up between the pair, looping his arms around their shoulders. The movement made his shirt ride up and expose a pale rim of his belly. “English, Crocker,” he said dreamily, noting that his voice was unconsciously adopting their singsong tone. “I love you two.”

Jake immediately seized upon this chink in his armor, feeling his way up Dirk’s chest with an, “Well golly, that’s awfully sweet of you.” Dirk shivered, squirming under his touch. It _tickled_ terribly and he had to bite back a giggle.

Seriously, a giggle. What the fuck was that? He didn’t _giggle_.

“Hoo-hoo, I think he likes that,” said Jane, her fingers joining Jake’s in dancing up Dirk’s sides.

Having been in carnal relationships with Dirk before (several times, as a matter of fact), Jake had the advantage of a mental road map of Dirk’s body. Jake’s navigation skills might be utter shit, but in this strange mood of his, his recollection must be better. He knew exactly where Dirk’s nerves were the most sensitive, guiding Jane along the paths and making him struggle in their grip.

“Guys!” Dirk exclaimed, unable to fight back the laughter, “cut it out!”

“But I thought you liked it!” Jake said, with a curious tilt of his head as his touch crept under Dirk’s arm. Jane leaned across and hugged the two of them tight.

“We thought you missed being hugged!” She gave him the most pitying puppy-dog look he’d ever seen. “We left you all alone out here. Weren’t you lonely?”

“A-a little,” Dirk admitted, gasping.

He gasped when Jane suddenly yanked his shirt up and delicately ran the pads of her fingers up the sensitive areas that of course Jake, _you traitor,_ would know and was already seeing to. Seriously, fuck lack of human contact. Dirk would’ve shared that apartment with all his friends if it meant that he could’ve built up a resistance to this.

Jake grinned mischievously. “Hey Jane,” he said,” I know some places he reee~eeeally likes being touched.”

Jake leaned into Dirk’s neck, closing his mouth over the point where Dirk could feel his pulse beat against Jake’s tongue. His protests fell abruptly silent and his head fell back, eyes rolling.

“See, Jane?” Jake murmured past the creamy skin of Dirk’s throat. “It’s easy. Now you try.”

Jane was shyer at first, having to find the spot on her side for herself, but dug in once she brushed past the spot that made Dirk let out a needy whimper, biting down hard. He’d have a mark there later, like a spider-bite. He swore he could already feel her vanilla venom coursing through him.

Welp.

The tricksters’ tickling ceased, the pair of them humming around him as they licked their way up his neck, painting a symmetrical portrait. Instead, their hands travelled south. The sensation of their touch made shivers of pleasure race up and Dirk’s body, settling where Jake and Jane let their hands fall to.

Dirk groaned his appreciation when they closed their grip around his aching cock, finally supplying it with the needed friction.

He’d been bitten, touched, tickled and teased, and there was only so much of it Dirk could take. He rolled his hips into their intertwined fingers. He hissed a quiet “oh, yess,” when Jane took a moment to undo his zipper and tug his pants out of the way finally let his hard-on free. The tricksters painted their way up to his face with those kisses, more sweet spider bites that left him dizzy and giddy. He was gone in minutes.

Ecstasy crashed over Dirk like a tidal wave, taking him under, his head thrown back and his mouth open and calling soundlessly. His grip on Jake’s hair and Jane’s shirt was nearly bone-crunching, hips jerking as his come poured over their fingers.

Jake raised his sticky hand to his lips, licking off the fluid. He offered his fingers to Jane, who eagerly licked them clean. With a flick, she spread the spunk n her hand across her mouth and leaned in to kiss Dirk. “Here,” she said, “have a taste.”

Dirk lazily opened his mouth for her, tasting citrus on top of Jane’s vanilla cake batter flavor. Another giggle bubbled up in his throat. This time, he let it pass. “’S not s’posed to taste like that,” Dirk said, drunk on a sleep ecstasy.

Jake nuzzled against Dirk’s neck, and Dirk hummed and held him close. “I like it better that way,” Jake said, “he’s delicious.”

Jane came away from Dirk’s lips. “He is,” she agreed. Then her eyes lit up. “Ooh! Jake, can it be my turn now?” she asked, bouncing like a child with a new toy.

“Of course it can! Dirk are you up for it?”

Dirk watched Jane bounce up and down, looking so innocent when his cooling come was still drying on her hand, and the juxtaposition was funny to him. “Sure,” he said with laughter fizzing in his voice.

It didn’t occur to him in his stupor what Jane might actually mean.

“Do you want me or Dirk?”

“Mmm,” Jane appeared thoughtful, then mischievous. “How ‘bout… _both?_ ”

Jake’s eyebrows disappeared into his hairline.

“Aww, what’s wrong? Are you afraid of a little _adventure?_ ” she asked, batting her pink eyelashes. Dirk watched Jake swallow, trying to get his throat to work. Then, his expression grew daring.

“Not at all. Give me a moment to work up Dirk’s second wind, okay sweetheart?”

He threw a leg over Dirk’s lap, setting between his legs. Dirk immediately grabbed Jake by the back of his head and kissed him, deeply. Jake responded with enthusiasm, sharp citrus and pumpkin spice meeting in a strange, sweet taste like a warm September’s day. Jake ground his hips against Dirk’s, naked cocks rubbing against one another. The electric feel sent Dirk back into overdrive, the current shooting up his spine and making him roll his body into Jake’s touch, grabbing at him.

“I missed you,” Dirk said softly, feeling silly for not saying it earlier. What had he been thinking, bottling up his feelings all this time? “I missed you so much. I’m super-sorry for acting so crazy, but I missed you!”

“I know love, it’s okay. It’s okay and it’ll all be great from now on,” Jake whispered, touching this foreheads together. His voice was soft, loving. “Really, I should apologize because I made you do all that. I was a thoughtless moron.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Dirk whined, Jake quickly grabbing the sound with an kiss. Dirk was still a little sensitive, every rub of Jake’s cock sending sharp sparks of pleasure through his body and welling in his belly. He dimly registered Jane’s hand creeping onto his shoulder.

“Ready, Jake?”

“Oh yes,” Jake gasped, rocking forward against Dirk, pre-come dribbling between their dicks and making the friction easier and quicker. Dirk bucked against Jake as he slowed down, making Jake grab his hips and hold him down.

“Whoa there, Dixie. Pause a moment. Don’t want to buck off our rider.”

Jane giggled at his innuendo as she straddled the two of them. Something pink around her leg caught Dirk’s eye, and he saw that her panties had been pulled down around her socks like a cheerful striped flag on a pole.

Jane slowly lowering herself onto Dirk and Jake, bare under her skirt. Dirk gasped right when she did as they entered her, filling herself up with the both of them. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Dirk registered that this ought to have hurt her. After all, she had probably been a virgin up until a couple seconds ago and Dirk had learned with Jake that it took a while to get used to sticking things up those sorts of holes, no matter which one, what was going up there, or what your physical sex was. But then Jane sank onto them completely, a full, tight, wet seal around Dirk’s cock, pressed flush against Jake’s, and the thought fled from his mind.  There wasn’t a hint of agony in Jane’s moans, just pure pleasure.

Jane bounced once experimentally and it made stars pop in Dirk’s eyes. He bucked into her, hearing Jake and Jane both whimper along with him. Encouraged, Jane rose out of their laps until only she was just about to slip off them, then slamming back down with a high squeak.

The three-some was strange, and different from Dirk’s limited experience with Jake. It was wetter, slippery and warm. Jane riding the two of them was strangely excellent, foreign and not at all scary. How could it be _scary_? Nothing was scary right now, there was just the wild thrill of life and love. Everything was wonderful. Jane was warm from her skin to her pussy, and her curves were wonderfully soft.

Jane grabbed one of the hands Dirk had planted on her hips, dragging it beneath her skirt to the soft, wet folds between her legs. “Here,” she panted, pressing his index finger to a nub that made her stiffen on contact. “Oh, yes, right there! That’s it!”

Dirk diligently massaged the nub, spreading his other fingers to feel her lips and the coarse hair around them. He peeked beneath her skirt, curious, and saw that the hair was indeed the same bright pink as her hair.

Jake suddenly threaded through the fingers of his other hand and squeezed. Dirk looked up into his lust-blown green eyes.

“Not gonna last, love. We gonna do this together?”  

Dirk nodded. “Remind me to keep my eyes open. I love watching you come.”

Jane quivered around them, her words exciting a high whine. Jake suddenly tensed, expression freezing in an open-mouthed moan as his spine arched backwards. Dirk felt the hot come spurt around his cock, right as his own orgasm took him. He started to call around a name, that might’ve been either Jake’s or Jane’s but leveled off into a high warble of ecstasy. 

Jane shuddered around them, grabbing onto Dirk’s shoulders and holding on tight. The tremors wracked her body from her hands to her shaking, dripping thighs. As they passed, she looked up at him with big eyes, blushing a modest, sweet pink the same tone as her hair. “That was amazing,” Jane said, with a shy smile.

Dirk gave her a chaste kiss. “Any time, darlin’,” he said, feeling that letting a hint of a southern drawl creep into his voice would be ironically appropriate.

She slowly slid off them. Dirk sagged backwards, half-holding her, and Jake settled in beside them, the three of them settling into a blissful high better than any post-coital glows Dirk had ever felt. Everything was sharper, more acute, sweeter and _funnier._

“Guys?”

The two Tricksters looked up at him, their bright eyes half-lidded but prompting him to go on.

“I love you guys,” Dirk slurred, a grin growing on his face. “Like, seriously, I love you.”

Dirk let himself fall backwards, sapped of energy down to his bones and yet so utterly _giddy._ It was like soda pop bubbling up from his stomach, tickling and making him laugh at anything and absolutely everything _._ Everything was funny to him; the way Jake was sprawled across the two of them and trying to snuggle them both and his dopey, sated grin with the faint trickle of drool from the corner of his mouth, and the fact that Dirk had just noticed that their carpets did in fact match their neon-bright drapes. He just couldn’t stop giggling. It was _hilarious_ and that fact that everything was hilarious was even funny, and hadn’t it been funny that they’d been fighting and then they’d been fucking and now here they were, half-naked and stupid-giddy and oh my when had he started wearing a blue shirt?

“Hey. _Hey,_ ” Dirk said, prodding his friends and letting his voice draw out into a long, drawling sing-song. “You know what we should do?”

Jane’s petal-bright eyelashes fluttered open. “Hm?”

“We should go find Roxy!”

Jane sprang to her feet. “Yes, yes, we should!”

Jake was struggling to his feet too, getting caught in red pants and red suspenders. “I propose-“ he said with one hand announcing his proposition and the other struggling to stuff his dick back into his boxers, “-an expedition!”

“Indubitably,” Dirk said. He gracefully hopped to his feet, pulling Jane up with him and giving her a moment to pull her underwear up while he readjusted himself, feeling that the wet spots on his orange pinstriped trousers weren’t too big an issue – they would dry eventually.

With Jane on one arm, he offered the other to Jake, who took it. Their suspenders matched, he noted, then wondered when in the world he started wearing suspenders.

The thought quickly vanished. “Hey, I was wondering…” Dirk started.

“Yes?” Jake said.

“What was it you said about us all getting married?”  

**Author's Note:**

> I just spent three days and sacrificed time, sleep and studying to get this online while it was still relevant, and the Prospit Tricksters STILL went for Roxy first and yes I was too lazy to rewrite all this. I'm sorry for this being my first published contribution to the fandom.


End file.
